Finally

I’m finally sitting here with my wine-pore-cleansing mask on starting this first post.

Before I get carried away with trying to figure out what I want this blog to be about and then experiment with a certain theme for a week and then get stumped and figure out another theme but then contemplate whether that should be another blog in itself, let me be real.

I’ve been wanting to blog forever, at least for the last five years. I’ve started six blogs, all but two of which lasted no longer than six posts. I’m  usually stumped after post six, because I want to write about something other than the theme I’ve chosen to stick with.

I enjoy beauty and learning about beauty products and skin types as skin becomes increasingly important after the age of 25. It’s like I suddenly realized I had skin I needed to care for.

I love fashion events and am blessed to have friends in the industry who are able to score me tickets to random events. But here too, I’m far from any kind of expert or connoisseur as the kids are saying these days. I think I just aged myself by saying that.

I devour books and often get into long introspective moments about how the book applies to me. I discuss themes and lifestyles with family friends and feel I am slowly bringing  my favourite parts of my books together in some kind of spark notes version.

I love relationships and discussing personal growth and partnership growth. I used to adore giving advice until a few years ago when I realized that everyone has such a unique story it’s hard to give advice simply based on my experience and hearsay and all these books I read. Or maybe as we grow older, we just want to talk about ourselves and listen less to what others want to say. I could go on for hours on this point.

And most of all, I love pondering on random issues – just like I did above. Today I’m  irritated with the treatment of millennials, tomorrow I’ll hate the word millennials because it’s such a blanket word for such a diverse group of individuals. Today I’ll care about gender, tomorrow it’ll be about race. There’s usually something I feel strongly about but never strongly enough that I could host a blog on just one topic. But strong enough where I’d want to write a post on it and maybe then a follow up post a few weeks later when I’ve maybe done something about the issue.

My biggest demise is waiting for the perfect moment to begin. I’ve been waiting for the right number of topics in my head so I’d have enough blog commentary. That never happened. Or I forgot the topics or I waited to buy the perfect notebook where I could jot down my thoughts. I currently own 15 unused beautiful notebooks. I waited for something life-changing to happen, it happened and I didn’t want to write about it, I wanted to live in the moment, heal and enjoy getting past it.

So here I am today, sick, with a wine-pore-cleansing mask on my face in full recovery mode from this crazy week. Not well enough to go out but not sick enough to pop some meds and pass out. Just the right level of bored but determined to do something productive with myself.

Propped in my bed with only a wireless mini keyboard connected via Bluetooth and the iPad mini screen at my side because I just want to type and not read and correct every single spelling error, and this is what I’ve got to show for it. And I like it. It’s truly an expression of how badly I’ve wanted to write for so long just to vent and to express myself and to share and to connect.

So this is me, real talk. Real is rare but real is here. Hopefully to stay.

Until the next one, au revoir!

First written by me on IamRealisRare on November 4, 2016: https://iamrealisrare.wordpress.com/2016/11/04/finally/

Then reposted by me on madder and shade/wordpress on January 1, 2017: https://madderandshade.wordpress.com/2016/12/21/finally/  

Finally re-reposted to this final version I’m sticking to on madder and shade in 2018