Peek-A-Boob

I recently decided to try out a new massage place. I usually go to a RMT practice but I’d been seeing a lot of posters around my gym announcing their new RMTs and thought maybe these pros would be appropriate to visit for a deeper tissue massage since they understood sport injuries and soreness. So I signed up.

I walked into this appointment and called the RMT “doctor” – not realizing RMTs are not doctors. I was unsure what I was getting into. He talked about assessment before treatment and checked out my spine, posture and asked if I had any issues. After about 20 minutes of chatting and assessment of my overly strained back and concluding that I had strained pectoral muscles (which was the first time I heard my issue described this way and he was right), he moved on to treatment. I never had a massage that involved assessment and treatment, most of my earlier massages involved identifying the painful or sore area withing seconds and then receiving a 40 minute session.

I had no idea how much clothing was to be kept on or taken off during my treatment. This was a massage but it was also at a gym in an RMT’s office. Ah well, everything waist up came off. In retrospect, I could’ve left my sports bra on but I always find it almost impossible to receive a good back massage with a sports bra on. The treatment began on my belly and the pressure was definitely more intense in other massages, with a strong and different focus on my pectoral and shoulder area.

Then I flipped over and while I did so, I noticed the RMT make eye contact with me. I couldn’t tell if he was watching me flip over and so was catching a peek a boob before the sheets were placed back down on me. It was enough to feel odd and notice a difference as my previous RMTs look away while they hold the sheet higher up to allow me some privacy while I turn over.

I felt weird but didn’t want to stop the treatment or make it an awkward moment. The treatment continued with a focus on the shoulder and upper pectoral muscles while I faced up. I did actually feel less sore and stress in my pecs and back muscles after the treatment and it didn’t hurt to straighten up. The treatment worked so I tried to ignore the awkward eye-contact experience.

I brought up the incident to my colleagues who all told me as long as I felt something wasn’t right, there probably was something that wasn’t right. They encouraged me to call and inform the gym manager, while others told me to inform the RMT himself so he’d be aware of what he did (in case it was accidental?). I contemplated the options and then suddenly decided I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it because people kept talking to me as if I was a victim or as if I was to act on behalf of empowerment for women everywhere.

I didn’t feel like identifying with either of those responsibilities. In my view, it had been a professional who happened to (maybe) catch a glimpse of some peek-a-boob. Yes, I began to wonder if I had misread the situation and if he had actually even seen anything. But a friend reminded me that either way, the professional way to do things is to look away and provide the client with privacy – and this for a fact he did not do.

I decided to let it go. I’m not affected by it anymore. When I tell the story, people do say “Ooh creepy!” And then we move on to a different subject. But what has stuck with me is that when a woman has to react to a situation she is more often encouraged to act on behalf of her gender. We are either victims or empowerment pushers. Never just us. We’re made to retrace our steps and remember exactly what happened, causing us to question our own memories. We are reminded that we represent a whole group – an oppressed group that should constantly speak out. Instead, I felt more empowered when I decided to let it go – because it was my decision to do so. It’s something I wanted to talk about but not necessarily act on and that was all. The choice to simply do what I wanted to do and act on how I saw things – FYI I try to see boobs as just boobs and wish they weren’t so sexualized #freethenipple – was quite a liberating and freeing.

First written by me on madderandshade on April 1, 2017: https://madderandshade.wordpress.com/2017/04/01/to-be-or-not-to-be/

Reposted on this final madder and shade site in 2018