Life and Space

“We’re living our life depending on the space we have rather than creating our space to fit our life.” – Frank Mascia, architect.

This was the most profound sentence I’ve heard in a while. It made me realize I’ve gone about my life all wrong. I’ve always seen an empty space – room, jewellery boxes, drawers, mason jars, bookshelves – as something to be filled. As you can easily imagine, I’ve therefore amassed a ton of things in my past decades of life. Much of what I possess, I barely use, but it’s made my space look lived in. Unfortunately my thirst for more – I believe some call it consumerism (link is to a really cool article that explains how we consume without even realizing it) – has made me gather more items, thus turning my ‘lived in’ space into a ‘cluttered’ space. Many of the things are sentimental, collections of travels, trinkets from friends – none of which bear any practical value other than a way to make dust feel wanted.

This has posed an issue to me in the last two years when I’d stare at my possessions and feel as though I owned nothing, stare at my closet and feel like it was empty, stare at my bookshelf and just be bored. How did I have so much and have nothing at the same time?

Because none of my possessions held any value to me at my current point in life. Clutter also created a void in me. I couldn’t think clearly and constantly needed to move things to feel at ease. The room felt dark and uninspiring. I needed change.

Don’t get me wrong. For every year after I turned 20, I’ve thrown over 50 items out – garage sales, garbage or donations. Yet, the room seemed full and useless. Then came the Netflix documentary, Minimalism. The moment I heard the sentence on life and space, I knew the kind of change I wanted. I was no longer intimidated by an empty space. I didn’t need to fill every corner of my room. I kept only what I needed and used – what I valued.

I shaped my room into a space that held only what I would need and use for the year (minus one box that held items I’ve specifically bought for the day I turn into a homeowner). By discarding everything else that was a trinket, impractical gift or just plain useless, I now only have things I use on the regular. The benefit of this is that I’m reminded everyday of what I have and what I love, thereby restricting my need to go out and buy things I already have. Clutter hid things I needed and I can freely admit there’s been more than one time I purchased the same pair of joggers, not realizing I already had the same pair at home.

By no means am I part of Project 333, but maybe one day, who knows. I’m more of a Project 3billi, who is now a 3milli. That’s a big improvement for me and a more realistic one. My room holds no space for things that aren’t of current value to me. In one glance I can see everything I own, which makes it easier to discard any item that doesn’t fit my perception of immediate value. The ease at which I can now discard things without having to second guess if I’ll need it in a few months or if the fashion trend of bell bottoms will return, is relaxing. That one sentence shifted my whole perspective as it revealed we are all guilty of just filling our spaces with trends – trends we may not even identify with but just hop on to fit in. We lose ourselves to be a part of something we may not even identify with, which to me is why many of us are just floating around these days confused as to makes us unique?!

The empty space gives my room breath and forms my identity by reminding me of the things I have chosen to love. It’s where the light reflects and makes the room look bigger than it already is and makes my head clearer to think of what I want to think. It feels cleaner, brighter and useful. It’s my space designed for my life.

First written by me on madderandshade/wordpress on January 30, 2017: https://madderandshade.wordpress.com/2017/01/30/life-and-space/

Reposted to this final madder and shade site in 2018