Never drinking again

I recently embarked on a journey of sobriety for 45 days. It was inspired after a night of unintended and unforeseen debauchery.

What was supposed to be a casual night out with two to three drinks turned out to be a night of red wine chugs and fancy, surprise-me cocktails, led to a swirling brain on route home with me naively hoping a quick throw up and some deep sleep would solve all problems.

But alas, four involuntary gut-felt hurls later and a maximum of two consecutive hours of sleep, left me with a lost Sunday. That’s it! I was done drinking, “I’m never drinking again!” We’ve all said it, but I meant it.

The physiological aftermath, wasted daylight weren’t repercussions I felt under 30. Ugh, was this age knocking? I no longer had time to schedule this aftermath into the next day. I was grown. I had shit to do. The buzz was no longer worth the aftermath.

People’s opinions fell into two camps, some said “suck it up and grow up, this is what drinking as an adult is.” Such was life, you wake up, hate life, but get on with your day. The other camp told me to simply learn how to start and end at one drink. Yeah, right? How do people even do that? Wasn’t the point of one drink, to drink another? Wasn’t the point of drinking to feel that buzz?

So I created my own camp, zero tolerance. I just wanted it to stop...for now. I need it for my mental well-being, my health, my happiness. Also, saying I was trying sobriety allowed me to avoid the challenge of starting and stopping at one drink. I wouldn’t be tempted and I wouldn’t be carried away.

So I decided to go dry for 45 days starting September 23, 2018 till November 6. It was the easiest decision and saying no to a drink felt empowering. The journey was interesting.

Since November 7, I’ve eased back into drinking, enjoying just one drink here and there and indulging sometimes if the occasion demands it. My tolerance has plummeted and I think I may have developed a semi-intolerance for red wine. One glass is all I need to feel the buzz and I’ve felt that churn too quickly in comparison to my past drinking parties.

And now, here I am five months post-sobriety thinking about going dry again just to feel healthy and useful. I feel like a fuller human and a more productive member of society when I’m dry and maybe this is something that is good to appreciate, regardless of what society thinks.